I returned home from Melbourne 4 full days ago, but have finally recharged my physical, mental, and emotional batteries that I nearly drained while living a dream. I just want to thank Full Tilt Poker, Crown Casino Resort, and Riverchasers Poker Tour for allowing me to live out a fantasy that would, otherwise, never have been possible. Although the final result was not the ideal scenario, I wouldn't change a thing. Well maybe one...
To tell the final tale, I introduce 80's sensation, Melbourne's own Men At Work:
Down Under (to the tune of Down Under)
Intermixed among all the pros
Tomorrow comes, they all become foes
Chris Ferguson, Phils Laak and Ivey
All these greats, I feel so tiny
And they said, Did you win the trip down under?
How I did I'll always wonder
Will I make historic thunder?
Where hammers drop in their bluffing splendor
Catching cards right from the first deal
Was enough to make my nerves heal
Got involved with the professor
Even though he was the pre-flop aggressor
And he said, Did you win the trip down under?
From his stack I want to plunder
Wasn't sure if I was stunned or
Did my fives really take down the pot?
Short on chips, we're on day three
I push all-in, 5 cards to save me
Joe Hachem asks are you trying to bluff me?
Then he stacks my chips, I leave abruptly.
And I said, Oh! I won a trip down under.
Single moment, major blunder.
My poker dream ripped asunder
Hammer drops but doesn't save the day
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I'm going to Australia!!!!! W00t!!!!! Delivering the recap of the Tournament of Champions, Sydney's own AC/DC:
T.O.C. (to the tune of T.N.T)
See me all-in with the nut flush
He is drawing to a boat
Just four outs with two to come
That's all she wrote
Donkeys to the left of me
And LAGtards to the right
Got all the cards, got all the chips
Sometimes it's just your night
Won the T.O.C
I could do no wrong
T.O.C.
I'm where I belong
T.O.C.
I'm a winner cos
T.O.C.
I'm going to Oz!!!!
I'm lucky, brave and downright strong
Stay out of my way
You're the next one to the felt
Push and pray
So fold all your hammers n' don't chase those draws
Don't even think of reraising because
I'm still stickin around
Just lay it down
Won the T.O.C
I could do no wrong
T.O.C.
I'm where I belong
T.O.C.
I'm a winner cos
T.O.C.
I'm going to Oz!!!!
T.O.C
I could do no wrong
T.O.C.
I'm where I belong
T.O.C.
I'm a winner cos
T.O.C.
I'm going to Oz!!!!
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Also hailing from Melbourne, Kylie Minogue:
The Riverchasers (The Locomotion)
The newest blogger tourney is on Thursday nights now
(Everybody plays the riverchasers)
I know you'll get to like it
If you give it a chance now
(Everybody plays the riverchasers)
No, no, no! That is all the Kylie Minogue that will ever see the light of day on my blog, even in parody. I won the thing, ok? It was Thanksgiving night and the turnout was unusually light. I only played the premiums early on and still got paid the few times I picked one up. Then when I needed to ramp up the aggression, coincidentally (and thankfully), my hand quality began to vastly improve. I managed to make the final table, but then went card dead. That's just not good when everyone's M is so low.
Then a series of amazing things happened. Griff and Hoy each went hog wild on the other 6 players at the table, each busting 3 within about a 5 or 6 minute time span. That left me as a huge short stack and Griff covering Hoy by just a few thousand chips. I pick up T♣T♠ on the button and raise 3x BB. Griff and Hoy both call. Flop is T♥J♥Q♥. Uh oh. I bet about 1/2 the pot (a little less than 1/3 of my stack) to find out how interested they were in the pot. Griff smooth calls from the SB and Hoy raises to all but one of my chips. I know what that usually means. I'm gone.
After I fold, Griff reraises to all but one of Hoy's chips. He re-hoyed Hoy's hoy? What in the world? Dutifully, the last chip goes in and Hoy tables 8♥9♥. Straight. Flush. Griff flips...
A♥K♥.
Unbelievable. Royal. F'n. Flush. 3 handed.
I type, "so, uh, Griff... you already have your seat, right?" "yup"
"i'll ship you 150% of the difference between 1st and 2nd if you let me have the seat..." "why would I..."
"two RPT players in the final 27...."
FTP Advisor: "Griff has disconnected"
See you at the T.O.C.
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